Wordly Affairs

So I say what if we change our place of work named “Office” to something more interesting and rejuvinating and maybe exhilarating …? like ” Fun Park” ,” Garage” , “City ZOO” , ” Area 52 ” , “cool place to hang out ..with jesters and christmas babes ….” etc ..

I mean ( and you admit it ) that office by its name generates a sigh of grief and profound sense of slavery .Both men , women and managers ..feel its pang yet they slog their arse ( or watever body part they feel should be respected) to get over with it .The prominent reason being the word itself, the title , the perpetual synonymm to AAARGH ! ……..” Office“.

Instinctively , it should be noted that no one teaches us post college to hate it , yet we start hating it. Plus , the concept of big buildings , grey colored work places , dress code , code of conduct , code of speech , code of writing , code to code some application all subtend to us universal bondage to Schedule and Mechanisation.

The people who other wise are normal people with normal exterior and normal appreciation towards you ( like people you find in movie theatres and long queues and in flights ) if found to be your office peers ……invariably human mind takes them to be incorrigible and unforgivenable arseholes ( or watever body part hole you find most disrespected) . Few learned men would claim that ..”nah nah …I made my best buddies in my Office” …. .

These people either have no ambition or are yet to find a permanent job.

Lets see the other thumbs down aspect of working in a legitimately ,”grey atmosphered” , serious kind of office .( ex: Intel , White House , JpMorgan , Nokia , The Zion etc ..) . I find that more the cult in office is of serious thinkers and hard sloggers and more the office relates to economy boom ( minus the fashion houses) lesser is the occupancy of female workers *

* [This fact has over 97.45 % agreed by men and managers alike , the remaining 3% account for ugly women , moustached women , women turning to enunuch , women liking women , women far past the "wow-man!" age]

I kow you must by now understood that I am a constant sufferer or a variable optimist. But ..my point is females as any other natural causes , invite in an unsaid pact , men to offices [egad!] and over a period of time men at late night wakes ..convince themselves …..”Nah not one female in my office is worth appreciating ..I cant find a reason she serves any purpose ..But ..she has SOME appeal watsoever , some obscure undiscovered temptation watsoever , some thing about her which would make me stare at her ( not desperation ) watsoever …………..I somehow settle myself with sub grade females WATSOEVER” .

Beverages and coffee wending machine are the sole objects a man-at-work finds solace with and a promised sense of sympathy. I argue , if the big bosses of Office Industry ever wanted us ( men , women and managers) to slog and put our 100% to our job ……

( Job , for reasons known ,will hereby be replaced with ” contribution” ) .

….then why do we see huge cafes , indoor game apparatii ( like stapler , TT table , mouse , revolving chair , waste bin , monitor adjustment swiches , urinals , elevators , xerox machine , access card etc ) ..in the first place or any place WATSOEVER?

our “contribution” demands us to be fixed at our cubicle perimeter and wait for miracle to happen

Well my friend …miracle has happened , not the Third Christ …for Christ sake .

( IMP NOTE : “Christ sake ” could be a Japanese protestant based alcoholic drink brand name ) sake?

so as i was saying …our “contribution” demands us to be fixed at our cubicle perimeter and wait for miracle to happen ..Well my freind …miracle has happend , not Third Christ …for Christ sake ! …you me and the managers without considering the very jist of this blog have mummed ourselves and slogged in “OFFICES” world over …for years maybe decades ….and yet we find ourselves happy and gay ( Gay , in ultra economy boomer offices ..like ..NASA , NYSE or Microsoft R& D ..( ( Read and Delete )) )

Its time to boot strap your neighbour …kidding.. yourself and take a pledge to change the “OFFICE INDUSTRY” for ever .

The finest and brutalest method is to CHANGE THE NAME.

Entries for new names for “OFFICE ” can be directed at “mymailid@somemail.com” . Early bird prizes include:

>More office staitonery with stickers of Bill Gates or T-REX. ( note: T-rex is on high demand ).

>Individual coffee machines which can transform to your high school sweetheart as and when “pressed” appropriatley .

> A patent in your name and official fellowship of “Society for Care of Office Dropouts and Rehabilitaion for the Same”

> A recliner for your cubicle and virtual reality glasses . For respected women entrants Laptop that can be doubled as a “quick make up” installation and/or a “make up kit installation” that can be doubled as a Laptop.

>False email from accounts Dept Head in your inbox asking for permanent mercy and forgiveness and agreement on not to question your life time office expenses ( including your salary).

>Work from home ….( any part of the world any time including the Easter Islands).

>Biweekly trip to nearby PlayBoy Office at “Office ” expense . ( This freebie mocks Office BIG TIME ).

>Four kicks each to Condoleeza Rice’s blown up doll

Okay …the last one had no relation to anything WHATSOVER ..but all the time while I was writing this blog I was thinking of her ……late night wakes you know.